Bike polo hurts so good! Kevin, Anna and Elle came out to represent Bike Cult and we all had a fuckin riot! Polo thursday, Critical Mass friday, Tag saturday!

So theres a braindead rich kid here at BMW who felt it was important to tell me "fixies" are sooo in right now. Fuck you. No. You cant ride my bike.

So i went to the print studio to hang out with Anna and somehow got myself convinced to do a woodcut print. Im bleeding and The Queen Is Dead....

So i went to the print studio to hang out with Anna and somehow got myself convinced to do a woodcut print. Im bleeding and The Queen Is Dead....

Zine Material

Short.
I really wanted a cigarette. I couldnt find a re-fry that hadn't been re-fried since that night before i'd fried em all. It was vicious cold out there, all the streetlights were as vacant as the shadows underneath them. Diggin around in the bottom of my bag I found evidence of that night past, butts and crushed beer can stinking in a goodway since smell takes you back in memories. Lucky me about four dollars worth of shiny Abes. So I wrapped myself deep in as many layers as one can without limiting his ability to ride. Rollin my bike down the stairs into that aweful biting November night I cursed my adiction and loneliness for perhaps a fellow head would have a butt to send my way and stay warm. Pedaling wasnt keeping me that way with the wind cuttin into me like the words of alota girls I never wanted to hear. That shops only a mile I think, a long frosty mile thats scaring me to stare down. Down the empty boulevard because most cats with cars are sitting pretty with plenty of smokes by the fire. Not me jangling down the way shivering and ringin with a pocket full o coins gunna get traded real soon. I got my head wrapped like an Arab so I dont hear the hissin snake beneath me. But godamn I feel it front wheel gettin all wonky and wont steer straight. I round that corner and she almost washes out right like that, but the shops here basking in cold dead neon. I know I got enough coins for a pack o checkers so I lock the deflated steed and head in like a new man not a care in the world. He woulda given me a packa Checkers and matches had he had em but I wasnt first. Ho no I was dead last there aint a pack I can afford in the buildin and this man aint no saint cuz he dont care about me at all. Back through that auto glass door with a ding and i spot a little bit o glory right there like its gunna snow any second and shes keepin it back. Walks right up to lookin round like its the last thing im gunna see, and she wants some help. Gone little girl I aint got no help to give ya dig? But shes tryin to keep warm too just aint old enough to get that fire water. You get a pack o them smokes little one and i'll be your fiery saint right here. And so I still got that four dollars wortha pennys ringin and janglin away right next to a packamatches and a little orange fire in my hand. Ya see she got her warmpth and I got mine cept i'm still cold as the moon. Least I got my smokes, no filters and fresh. Not a crumpled beatemup box like I always do. I dont even care when I walk that frozen mile right up the stairs and under the sheets. Slap on another record and watch those big snowflakes drift right on down past the empty streetlight keepin no fool warm but me.

Threat.

Foul Loach!
Not with the rock,
you smoke
Pave stone
colliding with skull bones
Take my bike?
A ruined man
you shall be

Dirt nap.

Bike Cult

Alright. Its been 16 days. Thats it, just 16 beer soaked days hanging heavy with cigarette smoke. A collective has been formed. 33rpm records have been spun at 45. Hunred of miles have dissapeared under 700c strips of rubber. Girls have gone missing and bromances have been solidified. There was a craft fair, and somewhere in those hungover days the blackened fetus called Bike Cult wormed its way into our brains and consumed the section that allowes logical thinking.

What is Bike Cult? Its DIY. Bikes and Beer. Comradie and creativity.

It is existing bicycle.

Bike Cult also wants you to come ride your bike with us. We, and you, play bike tag every Saturday night at 9pm in Smith Plaza. Thats at UNM. Its easy and everyone can play, on anykind of bike. Proof? Last game we had Fixed Gears, Comfort Bikes, Commuters, Cruisers and Stingrays. Diversity is key, Bike Tag is all inclusive. YOU can play. There are no fancy prizes or trendy schwag. Theres beer and bikes and fun. I sure dont need any thing else.

Keep your Aerospoke, give me friends who love to ride as much as me.

Maybe you've seen the Who Is Bike Cult? flyers. Maybe you havent, but you will. Anyone who rides bikes and wants to come promote bike tag, hit us up!

thebikecult@gmail.com

So there was this thing that happened at Dennys....

Anna and I decided after riding with Carbon Zack and Kervin that we wanted Dennys. More or less because of my hallucinations of golden pancakes, and Anna doing shots out of a rusty BMX peg (PUNK). 3am. We rolled down there and got seated after being stared at. Atleast 5 sober minuts (15 drunk) I got pissed. I stood behind an Amazon waiting for service. The manager finally realizes my presense and asks if I want to pay. No, I want coffee and menus. He is concerned. Where are you seated? Were going to be seated in a different resturant in three minuts if we dont get coffee an menus. So, we got coffee and menus. All the while someone in the stratosphere felt like Anna and I would be better off listening to the most obnoxious radio personality in the history of total shit. He was very proud of hhimself, and made sure to say so to his entourage of English Hookers. Our orders are taken by a very tall Boondock Saints quoting weirdo named Charles. The eggs come wrong, very wrong. Those eggs stay, and the right eggs come. Its a massacre. A fetal genocide. Chickens do not worry about over population. The manager comps our check for being an ass. The gangster leave, and we slaughter. Charles would like to join us for a smoke. We do, I do. Anna encounters strange friends of hers. 4am. The hessian bussboy materializes a joint, with myself Charles, Anna and the cancer patient. Shes fres outta chemo suckin down that cigarette because possibly its her last. It goes around and around, the world does too. We want to leave after the near drive by that went down, very very slowly. The cancer patient wants to know about our bike lights. A 2 minut conversation puts bike lights into "bike lights". (brackets? Apostrophes? I do no know) Bike Lights have become meth. This night is over. No, no it isnt. We listen to Russian Circles untill the sun beats us to the finish. 6am. We sleep.

And this other thing happened, and something else too. But I want another cigarette and am pretty sure I dont have one. Can I continue this thing without my addiction hacing been fed first?

No.

Bike Cult.

Wow... I dont think I can even write down whats gone down within limits...

We (see further) started a cult. A bike cult. We (Anna, Kevin, David, Chris, Elle and I) are also printing a zine. Called Bike Cult ... obviously. We also hosted the first weekly game of Bike Tag at UNM. It was awesome, lots of people came and hopefully lots more will come.

I really ought to get into detail here and I will after I go find a re-fry.

Pista De Tierra...

So... I have mixed feelings about this. I really, really hate goatheads. Fuckin bigtime... I REALLY fuckin hate em. But I want to do this race because the last two races I was in were hella fun. So what do I do? I'll find out on Sunday.

Oh yeah! Mad props to Anna for the design thats going on my bag, its so so so fucking cool. I cant wait!

New Bike!

So I finally finished building my Pake! its pretty sweet, and rides really well.

Last nite was crazy, and sort of not real... Split and 18 pack with kevin, rode bikes, got drunk at the school and did rad tricks. Smoked waaay to many cigarettes. Anna and I went to Dennys in the fourth dimension, and got free food. Surrounded by british hookers and gangstas. I smoked grass with the busboy and we stayed up till the sun came up. I went to Cafe Guiseppe this morning, and it was amazing. I got 10% off for riding my bike! They had a Bianchi track bike on th wall and really, really good coffee. Awesome.

Soon, Revenge of the Manateen.

New Bike

So i've had this Pake frame for aloooong time and I finally got a job and decided to finish building it. All the parts showed up yesterday, and tommorow it will be done. Kevin will be the first to ride it, including the wheelset I built. Im seriously fuckin proud of my wheels, and the rest of the bike is coming together nicely. Its a dick though. Atleast its not Aerospoked. Yikes. Got some sweet anodized bits, and although I cant ride it or *completely* assemble it I can tell its going to be nimble. The cockpit feels good, or atleast as good as it can in the garage with no headset...

ANYHOWZEN, tommorow Kevin and Anna and I will go (drinking) riding, I on my new steed. Though fear not! Hillary will never die, and I will be riding her for Bike Polo (sunday!).

yeah!

Some other shit...

Whoo thats alota shit to cary around! So I got a new bag, and its a lot bigger (and infinitly more comfortable) than my Alchemy bag. SO! What do you carry when you ride? I carry....

Lock Cable
Jersey w/hi-tech fleece longsleeve undershirt
Helmet (duh)
Troy Lee XC gloves
Bandana
Spare Tire (skids kill)
Tail light / headlight
Clif Bar (for the nom)
Water
Flat Tube*
Two Spare Tubes, in baggie
Hand pump
Multi use wrench w/15mm
Pen (compulsive writer here...)
Schrade Multi Tool
Adjustable wrench
Charging Unit for lights w/battery
QuickieStik
Park 4.5.6
Threeway
Beanie
Duct Tape
Two styles of patches
Trusty U Lock .
Cotton gloves

* Yes a flat tube, because its a really versatile tool and tragically easy to come by, fucking goatheads. I HATE GOATHEADS.

These are my new cages and straps. Cheap as fuck Origin8 stuff, but I have no need for Toshi straps because I ride on the streets, not the velodrome where NJS belongs....

So i've now ridden a fair bit on these and I really like them. I've been running these Wellgo cheapie pedals for almomst four years and they still work really well, and now they are much more comfortable. I have wide feet, and dont like running low fats because I smash pedals into the ground and crash and that blows. So these allow me to run the straps a little loose and still get a good grip. Why didnt I get with the times sooner? Double straps are the shit. I hear the power strapons are cool, but I rode Annas bike and couldnt even get my feet into them, so thats LAME. Hopefully another race will come along soon, im not doing the Pista Del Tierra Alleyct because...

I REALLY HATE GOATHEADS.

Goodluck to anyone doing that race, ill be selling tubes for $50 a piece and you'll have to buy them sucka. Speaking of goatheads I had myself an American Flyers finish, or so its been told to me that I should refer to it as such. I also made new friends who dont like the shop I like(ed). Its lame that I suddenly notice how much a place is blowing the hipster cock after I do some free advertising. I know my shit buddy, and I wont pay a cent more!

So, I found that poem...

Pabst Blue Ribbon, how you've shown in my life
Through lonesome armchairs when you took my wife
And 25 years before that at the steel mills
My teenage discoverys, sins and thrills
From tabs to bottles, frothing forth from the tap
I know you will leave me, and you'll come back
I've seen your glow and come in from the rain
You've hurt me terribly and healed my pain
People partook in you after they shot me
Sending prayers to the Angel of Milwuakee
To you I drink life, golden and true
I swear to god Pabst, I do I do
Love. You.

Ok im going to bed, because I have to get up and work for the man tommorow, and the day after that, and the day after THAT and probably even the one after that.

OH wait, I got tickets to see Russian Circles at the Launchpad. Thats pretty much fucking awesome. Cant wait for tube-steak-day!

We drank alot of fuckin beer last night, and rode bikes. Listened to some good records and threw cards. The house is haunted, and it's wrong to eat manatees. I got a new bag, and I wrote a new poem of all things, when I find it ill post it here

Dick.

I was driving home from work today, on Jefferson right by the Journal Center and some fuckin weirdness transpired. I saw an old dude with a broken down truck right in the middle of the street, in typical J center crazy traffic so I parked off the road and ran to help. He was pushin it at tis point so I got ready to help him and he said "I dont need yer damn help!" and continued to cuss me out. I was shocked. There was a lady in a car next to us that said to me "hey atleast you tried to do the right thing". Yeah, fuck that old dude. Im about to roll out to Sante Fe to buy a new bag from some dude, craigslist FTW! Also bought some new pedal goodies at Fixed and Free today, will post pictures when I return!

I swear to god this is why I did so terribly in the last race, really. I know I had that rad American Flyers finish with the super fucked up front wheel and all that, but to tell the truth... this happened, and I crashed. Im sorry.

Alright! I'll probably use this like I did livejournal (oh geez what is this 2000 and angst?). Wich mean i'll post like fuck, then slow down untill I randomly have something to say every 10 months or so. Thats just too fuckin bad for you.

Hey, go read those blogs on the right, Cranks is rad because you can find out about races and shit, and the other one is good because its written by good people. Dont question, DO.

Albuquerque Sucka!

Alright I really shoulda started this LAST year when I actually started riding bikes in the 505. But I didnt. SO, theres been some rad shit going down, such as Bret's race for the Roadrunner Foodbank. It was super fun, long and I plaed 18th. Not bad! Then was Anna's Track or Treat race on Halloween. Short, fast and also fun! I was 3rd from last, not so good but I had an American Flyers finish, as I got a flat and fuckin ran to the finish.

Then there was the party at The Cake Checkpoint House. Definatly awesome people there. Anna gave me a sweet tattoo, my life motto, and we got hella drunk with mad bike kids. Im going to figure out how to link their blog in here, so look out for that. Not sure what else to do, other than go ride to work in the morning... hope I actually wake up in time to do that!